In 1933, well before the Hungarian Society suffered the ravages of war and dispersion all over the world, Sigmund Freud invited members of the Hungarian Psychoanalytical Society to contribute to a Fetschrift for Sandor Ferenczi. The great man was ill and would die before the year was done and the volume published.
Freud had gathered the cream of the Society to contribute: Alice and Michael Balint, Istvan Hollos the Society’s Secretary, Imre Hermann, the President, Vilma Kovacs, Geza Roheim, Lillian Rotter, Laszlo Revesz, Mihaly Eisler, Kata Levy and her husband, Lajos, Lily Hadyu, Endre Almasy, Fanny Hann, Sigmund Pfeifer and finally, Klara Lazar.
Eleven years later in 1944 Hungary became Hitler’s target. it was a cruel fate: Jews were rounded up, shot into the Danube, or deprted to certain death at Auschwitch. By then some of the analysts, aided by the Ernest Jones resettlement fund, had departed for other parts of the world.
Klara Lazar was one of these. She migrated to Australia in 1940. Others remained, defending psychoanalysis as best they could.
For Klara Lazar the rupturing experience of forced migration, meant that part of her was left behind, even though she returned to Hungary once more in her life, for a brief visit in 1961. Migration, unlike tourism, means there is no return home. Word of her contribution to this volume is not known in Australia. Yet, upon reading it, one is delighted by her liveliness and ability to relate to the young people in her care. Does she anticipate some of Winnicott’s later work with parents at the Maudsley Hospital in London?
Luckily, or is it sadly, the Fetschrift for Ferenczi has finally made its way to the online platform, http://www.archive.org. The full edition can be found here. For those who cannot read Hungarian Google translate will assist access to a group of fine thinkers.
I have used Google to translate Klara Lazar’s piece, Nevelési tanácsadás – Educational Counselling.
It’s not perfect but you will get the drift..
Here is the translation –
“Ever since Freud showed how important childhood situations, the parental home, and the behavior of parents and educators are in the development of adult neuroses, the desire for prophylaxis has stood side by side with our curative efforts. This directed the attention of analysts to childhood. In our imagination, it is evident we should try to prevent the onset of neuroses in childhood. In practice this has significant difficulties. The causes of neuroses are the harmful experiences that the child has through parents, educators, and the adult environment, which, due to his vulnerability as a child, his biological and spiritual structure, he can neither avoid nor process. These indicate two paths for prophylaxis:
1. to teach adults to behave in ways that it exposes the child to the least amount of shock and illness;
2. to help the child recover with as little damage as possible.
We know that the behavior of the parents with the child it is very difficult to influence, because the principles of education and the behavior towards the child (and these two very often do not overlap!) are only apparently arbitrary. In fact they are determined due to deep reasons. On the other hand, it is very difficult to influence the child directly, due to his deep connections with his environment. Despite these difficulties, psychoanalysis started on both paths of prophylaxis. The first path led to analytical pedagogy, the second to child analysis.
In order to develop the basic principles of analytical pedagogy and actual child analysis, we first had to learn the language of the child’s soul. For about 10 years, only data collection took place. From the observation of healthy children, children’s dreams, the manifestations of childhood sexuality, from the registration of “bad habits” and “unconscious” childhood manifestations, we see confirmation of everything that was known from the analysis of adults. In the beginning, in our therapeutic vision — if it was a child — the adult, nurturing person was also included in addition to the child. Apart from the real difficulties, the reason for this was that, being adults ourselves, it is an easier task for us to understand and influence adults. As the development of psychoanalysis expanded our knowledge of the child’s psyche, and its structure and characteristics became more and more clear, analysts learned to return to childhood impartially through the recollections and self-analysis of their adult patients.
In literature, Freud (Analyse der Phobie eines fünfjáhrigen Knaben) and Ferenczi (“A cock-loving boy” [AKA Little Hans] were the first to report cases of child neurosis. An acquaintance of Ferenczi’s refers to the the little “cock-loving” Árpád. Freud only controls the course of treatment for his little patient from the background, the treatment is carried out by the father himself. These indirect child analyzes are the first indications that the analytical technique can be transferred to the treatment of children. Freud even believes that no one but the father could have succeeded: “…the technical difficulties of a psychoanalysis would have remained insurmountable at such a tender age…”
Hermine Hug-Hellmuth was the first to open the door to the children’s room and cutting off the mediators. She began to regularly analyze children with the aim of healing. She opened the door of the children’s room, visited the child in their home, because she believed the child’s environment needed to be realistically included in the analysis for the child’s honest expression and understanding.
Melanie Klein developed a special analytical technique for younger children (2-5 years old): the play technique. She brought a symbolic miniature outside world from toys into the analytical room; observing the child’s spontaneous play and using the symbolism of play to interpret the child’s unconscious. Her work brought new knowledge about the earliest forms of the Oedipus conflict and the early stages of development of the little girl’s sexuality. For these child analysts, numerous theoretical works (Freud’s, Abraham’s treatises on the development of sexuality and libido, and Ferenczi’s treatises on the development of the sense of reality) provided the basis for them to immerse themselves in the spiritual life of the child.
Oscar Pfister from Switzerland was the first to bring the analysis to teachers. As a priest, he had ample opportunity to use his analytical knowledge to look into children’s spiritual problems “in statu nascendi” and help them. Bernfeld’s theoretical works aim to lay the foundation for analytical pedagogy. He was the first to deal with the phenomena of adolescent life, group and community formation. .
In “Verwahrloste Jugend”, August Aichhorn reports on what he observed in the group education of disturbed children with the knowledge of “Massenpsychologie und Ich-Analyse” and the “superior ego” (Freud) and from these observations developed a completely new, analytical educational method. He formed homogenous groups of his students according to their symptoms and, adapting to their unconscious, without any external pressure, offered them a way through the love-relationship, so that the development of their ego can continue and thereby become social. Zulliger’s special practical work is characterized by the fact that he is a teacher and an analyst in one person. With a subtle sense, he recognizes the unconscious roots of his students’ learning and character development and uses the teacher’s positional advantage in the emotional transmission relationship this preventing more serious problems.
Anna Freud’s work represents a new chapter in the development of child analysis. In her work entitled “Einführung in die Technik der Kinderanalyse”,s he reports on the analyzes of neurotic children in their latency period. Her technical innovation: giving up analytical passivity in the introductory phase of child analysis, she tries to win the child’s love and trust with active means, because the child only maintains a positive emotional relationship possible. Theoretically: the child’s ego has only partially separated itself from its parents, it is still partially developing and works under the influence of realistic demands from them. From this follows what defines the difference between child and adult analysis: The child does not develop a real disposition; child analysis is not possible until we can work with the ready-made parts of the ego, which is joined by the further shaping of the ego through the environment, i.e. the educational work.
If we now look at the development of child analysis, we see that at first the analysis of children could only be imagined through adults, or later the milieu of the child included in the analysis realistically (Hug-Hellmuth) or symbolically (Melanie Klein). Then when we already knew enough about the child to directly we have found that the specific structure of the child’s soul dictates for the adult environment, not as a mediator of analysis, but as a supplement in its natural nurturing position. Now, based on our knowledge of the child’s mental structure, we are able to consciously choose the way of our help — direct treatment of the child, management of education, or a combination of these two.
For Pfister, Aichhorn and Zulliger, the position of priest, educator and teacher also dictated contact with parents, supporting their healing work with educational advice, and actively influencing the child’s external world. Understanding the unconscious made it easier to recognize educational mistakes, and their social situation made it easier to see these mistakes. The positive results of their practical experience encouraged the analysts to set up analytic education consultants. Aichhorn, as a reviewer of the Jugendamt of the city of Vienna, organizes educational consultants, where he himself and then his students work in his wake. Today, partly under his leadership, work as an educational consultant is carried out within the children’s department of the Vienna psychoanalytic polyclinic. The “educational consultant” technique – although of course it offers the widest possibilities for individual work offers the widest possibilities for individual work. Each educational consultant tailors his technique on a case by case basus. This was developed by Aichhorn, the father of psychoanalytical educational consulting.
In Budapest in 1928, within the framework of the Children’s Protection League, dr. Under the leadership of Margit Dubovitz, the first analytical children’s ambulance was established, which, unfortunately, soon became stateless after the termination of the League’s operation. Now ( in 1933) with the establishment of the Clinic of the Hungarian Psychoanalytical Association in Budapest, as part of our new children’s clinics, we are also trying to work as educational consultants.
The introduction of shorter-term treatments in suitable cases was justified by the external circumstances of our ambulance: for the many children who are waiting for help, our analytical workforce is too few, and it is important from a social point of view that this should reach the children who really need analysis. Below, I present some cases from my work as an educational consultant here.
The possibilities of “educational counseling” are of course limited by the accessibility of the parents’ unconscious and primarily by the severity of the child’s illness. My own experience shows that it can be applied very widely; even for children who come to us with various complaints and often show symptoms that seem to be severely neurotic but a minority are truly neurotic. In most cases, the difficulties that children present are not deeply rooted neuroses of traumatic origin, not even rigid forms of reaction, but simple reactions to the behavior of the educators or parents. However, if this correction does not take place: “gutta cavat lapidem”, character anomalies or neuroses inevitably develop from the above beginnings sooner or later.
I am reporting the following cases to illustrate how long-lasting, good results can be achieved, sometimes even more I am reporting the following cases to illustrate how long-lasting, good results can be achieved, sometimes even in seriously impressive cases, educational counseling. I have been monitoring several of these counseling cases for a long time, and sometimes I receive or request reports about them. In general, with the exception of one case, I report on children I have known for the third year, since I myself strongly doubted the durability of the quickly achieved results, and so I only dare to refer to such cases, which I have had in mind for a long time.
Bandi, 10 years old. His mother brings him. He is the child of janitor parents living a good married life in orderly conditions, apart from a 12-year-old, II. they have a civilian daughter. Complaint: he is a bad student, even though he is intelligent, he is about to fail and their problem is whether he should go to civics? Disobedient, lazy, unambitious, inattentive, playing around, messing around, unpleasant at home. The mother is a good-looking, smart, apparently energetic, strict woman with a sword. She resents the child mainly for his laziness, punishes him a lot, deprives him of his pleasures, and even beats him. ,
Please, being a boy, I can’t use him for anything and he’s lazy at school too; if I send it for something, or if it should help, it wanders off, useless. I am so unlucky with it! The other, my little girl, is the first student for being a girl, she helps at home, she’s clever, she’s smart” and proudly adds: “She even plays the violin beautifully!”
“Does Bandi study music?” I ask.
“But, please, he’s neglecting his studies too. Damn, we can’t waste the money on violin lessons, it wouldn’t last for two.” ,
“What about the master?”
,” Please, he is a good man, but he doesn’t care much about the children. He is down in the boiler room all day; the care of the house, the lot of cleaning and running around is all mine.”
In response to one or two more questions, she says that since his early childhood her son worked hard with strict parents, competing with men.
The situation was obvious from the constant complaint that the child was so lazy for being a boy, from the description of their life, from the praise about the girl . The mother, in her cherishing love for her daughter, compensates herself for her penis envy in her daughter. In her son, she suppresses the men she envies, and she lives out her complaints and aggression against her husband. The child’s behavior is the answer to this treatment.
Talking to the reasonable, correct, open child, my hypothesis was strengthened. The reason for his lack of ambition is that he cannot compete with his “perfect” older sister, and the competition is unequal, because he does not receive the reward of his mother’s love. He is so full of complaints against his mother and jealousy of his older sister that he just pours out when he is given a little encouragement: Mama is very strict with him , makes an exception with her sister, she – usually the girls – have a much better job, they get clothes, they are not beaten, , but they are such chatty monkeys!” He doesn’t take his word for it, because mom is never satisfied with him anyway.
And the tramping?” He likes to wander around with his good friends, ride their bikes, which his mother often forbids as a punishment. “What about studying?” Yes, he is a bad student, but he really wants to go to the civil service, because if he could only be a coal miner, everyone would look down on him. And on top of all this, as the symbol of unattainable desires and dreams, the grandeur: the violin! If he could play the violin too! But it can’t be, because it doesn’t take 10 pengős and two, he doesn’t even deserve it. ,
Maybe we could talk to mom after all? say, if you will study better?”
An indescribably bright and yet doubtful look is the answer to this.
Now it’s mom’s turn again; I tell her that the child made a good impression on me, I don’t consider her sick. I think the only problem is that he loves his mother very much and is jealous that she gives the little girl more honors and considers her more talented. , The child feels that she loves the little girl more!”
The mother acknowledges the jealousy and justifies it immediately with a small episode: , The little girl asks for a cube of sugar because her coffee is bitter, she gets it, and the boy immediately asks for it too. I say: Your cup is smaller, one is enough, – so he is not done with the reproach: He doesn’t give it to me because he loves Irma more, he doesn’t love me! He’s so sensitive! I’m going to get angry and pick him up.”
Now I’m just passing by how much Bandi wants to learn music and that there is no money for that while Ilonka is studying. A lot of small episodes come to light, through which I manage to show the mother even more that she demands more from her son, . because he’s a boy. She treats him badly because boys have a better fate and she feels sorry for the little girl because she is a girl. He also feels sorry for himself, he values his own work so much.
Laughing at this, she says that he would rather be a man if he has to work. —
When I emphasize his son’s great love for her, she is visibly moved and happy about it.
Thus, I manage to negotiate a free vagabond and bicycling lesson for Bandi every day, and she promises that she will try to treat the two children equally and register the boy as a citizen in the fall. Together with the mother, we communicate these to the child.
After two weeks, they come again, both of them visibly more satisfied. The mother is happy to report: the child is learning, he listens, and the situation with his sister has also eased. The mother spontaneously mentions that it has been decided that the boy will take his exams in the fall. they will also teach him music. After the successful exam, I see the child again in the fall as a citizen, he is also learning music, which he is very happy about. Of course, there are setbacks in learning, weak average, but they also see improvement at home and at school. The mother visited me a few more times, she was still satisfied, which is best proven by the fact that she referred many complaining parents to our order.
xx II. In another case, the special kindness was given by the fact that the mother became aware of the reasons for her educational mistake almost on her own, and thus came to us with the ready-made material for being a simple working woman. After one of my popular lectures, where I talked about educational mistakes and their unconscious sources, she approached me and told me that she was so self-conscious about certain points in the lecture that she hoped she could get advice on what to do with his younger daughter, Erzsi, who is 4 years old. whom he can’t stand. She is willful, tyrannical, if she doesn’t want something, or cries until she vomits, or declares: “I yell so much that the neighbors run!” When she does this they let her go for the sake of peace. She also has a 6-year-old daughter, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
She has never dared to talk about with anyone, she was ashamed, and considered it impossible, unnatural: that she didn’t love this little girl when she was born, and not even for a long time after! After the birth of her first child, she had a peak period and the doctors advised her not to have any more, but when she became pregnant and applied for surgery, her doctors encouraged her to carry [the pregnancy] through and even though she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help herself. She and her husband had serious financial problems. Throughout her pregnancy, she was nervous, constantly vomiting.
In the meantime, however, she reconciled somewhat, with the hope that she would at least have a son. When she found out that her daughter was born: she hardly looked at her, she felt a deep sadness, she didn’t want to touch her, she couldn’t breastfeed her, and she remembers well that when her husband first came in and took the child in his arms, she told him angrily: “Leave that baby alone!” This was repeated later; whenever the father touched her, she always waved him off. “I don’t like her and I didn’t want to see my master like him either.” SHe says with great shame that he didn’t love the child so much that he didn’t even take care of her, neighbors took care of him and only when she was a couple of months old, when she once bathed and dressed her, she was moved by the child’s helplessness and neediness and started to care for him, she felt sorry for him and when developed, and loved it. Today she loves her very much,she spoiled her. The child was prone to crying, vomiting and hernias, so she went to the doctor a lot with her. She was always worried about his life.
It turns out that since this emotional change,s he feeds her excessively, fills her with force, torments her with loving care, and the child reciprocates this violence by vomiting, yelling, and uproar at the neighbors, with which she terrifies and embarrasses her mother. The little girl is what we imagine her to be after the antecedents: thin, well-groomed, intelligent, bully with her brother and peers, narcissistic and she feels good about it; she makes his anger felt immediately and considers this to be normal.
It was very easy to make the mother understand (she herself said that she did not dare to let the child cry or punish her, she was always afraid that she would get sick or die) that this is a great indulgence: compensation for the old hatred; fear for the child’s life: remorse for her death-wishes. She realized that if she wanted the child’s eating to improve, the vomiting and tantrums to stop, she should not force the little girl to eat and temporarily take care of her meals – even if she did not eat for 2 days – and her other bad manners. Too much care can be just as bad, even worse, than too much strictness.
She kept our agreement, which was a great act of heroism at home — with his father, with the environment — in addition to the child’s provocation. After the first difficult week, the little girl became aware of the changed hand, her appetite returned, after 2-3 rampages for which she did not receive extras, she stopped rampaging. After two weeks I gave mother permission, if necessary, to punish her. ‘If the child really annoys you: tell her, show her.
The quick effect of our advice would have been like a fairy tale magic wand, if the little girl’s measles hadn’t jeopardized the result. This illness almost brought the mother’s old mechanisms into action, and she came to me again with her concerns. At that point, I emphatically asked her not to change her agreed treatment; we will have won a case if the child spontaneously accepts to eat after the patient’s lack of appetite (a common experience) and does not allow his tyranny to gain strength again during his illness, even though he cares for him a lot. The mother also passed this test beautifully, her older daughter also got measles, after a mild illness they both started to eat, and they became good friends with each other in their shared misfortune. She adds to one of the mother’s positive reports: she actually received the same advice from pediatricians, but she couldn’t take it, now it worked out so well! Since then, I have often heard about them directly and indirectly, there is nothing wrong with the child.
j s III. Sanyi, 12 years old,
citizen, only child. About 10 days before our examination, he ran away from home with a friend, they wandered for 2 days, the police brought them back. There are no complaints about his behavior, but he failed a grade repetition in the 1st high school and now, in the 3rd high school. he fails 3 subjects in civics, even though he has a good mind. His reason for running away, according to his parents: shame due to poor studies and failure. The mother is extremely worried, someone who attaches her child to her in every way, and if a child runs away from home, we can assume more serious symptoms, derangement, which needs analysis, and after what we heard, we thought of this here as well; but the situation was different. This escape was not serious, they set off without money or equipment, as it turned out later: not so much out of fear of punishment and shame, but rather out of some deep inner desire: free-
This escape was not serious, he left without money or equipment, as it turned out later: not so much out of fear of punishment and shame, but rather out of some deep inner desire: to be free! Free to roam, at least for a while without anyone to command! The boy sleeps in the same bed with his mother (he is 12 years old!), according to his mother, because he is very restless at night, tosses and covers himself. The child complains that his mother does not allow him to be around other children, nor to go on trips or to play football; on Sunday, you have to walk with your parents in good order. The mother justifies these prohibitions that her son is well-bred, a good child, the rest would spoil it; he is afraid of overheating and pneumonia when moving freely, all the more because he had tonsillitis a lot, his heart and lungs were attacked, and another child in their family had already died because his mother let him go freely. The principle is that it is best for children to stay with their parents. Sanyi could now get to Lake Balaton with one action, but he doesn’t dare to let go because he wants to go swimming. the child’s heart would certainly not be able to take boating. Not this mother at our first meeting. I managed to convince him neither that the child needed more time off, nor that it would not be good for a 13-year-old boy to sleep in the same bed with him. His castration fears, fixation and guilt towards his son were not approachable from any side. However, we agreed that the child would be examined and if his heart and lungs were found to be intact, he would be released to Lake Balaton. Of course, the tests were negative and Sanyi left happily. I talked to him once or twice before, it turned out that he was masturbating, with the usual fears (spinal atrophy, impotence, as a consequence of masturbation), which I tried to dispel. It also turned out that the mother is unfoundedly afraid of him being spoiled. He is extremely burdened and stressed by the great training and worrying of the mother, ashamed of this “mama’s boy” role . His thinking is clouded by the many ambivalent emotions weighing on him towards the tyrannical and fixating mother, and he keeps wandering into daydreams (Tagtraums). In his fantasies, he talks about his gratitude to his mother, but he declares he would be happy if he were allowed to sleep in a separate room.
In autumn, after the holidays, he came again. He had grown well fattened, grew, big In autumn, after the holidays, they bring it again; she gained weight, grew, felt great and completely changed. His demeanor opened up, became almost masculine. The parents noted all this with great joy, and even though this summer and the medical tests were a good trump card against his mother, they were not willing to agree to sleeping separately even at their son’s request. There was nothing left but to try to get help from the father’s side. The father proved to be understanding and well-intentioned, and through him the child’s freedom was achieved – despite the mother’s objections.
This was at the beginning of the school year. I saw him again around Christmas; there was no problem with studying or anything else, the mother has a hard time accepting the new constellation, but the child and his father have become strong allies and vote her out. Through the teacher – who sent him to me – I hear about them more often, so far the result is lasting. —
So it also happens that a person frees the priest with educational advice! The boy’s vagrancy, which looked like derangement, was a healthy attempt to escape from his mother, documenting what his mother did not want to understand anyway, that the boy wanted to break away from her, and this was required by his healthy development.
On the one hand – by sleeping in the same bed, his mother gave the boy too much freedom and too much excitement, on the other hand, in a tyrannical way, she prevented him from venting his excitement and feelings in any way (prohibitions on masturbation, sports, making friends). His emotions will be disharmonious, ambivalent, no: he just loves, but also fears and hates his mother, the source and suppressor of his excitement. The only outlet for his ever-increasing tensions is fantasizing, which distracts him from his studies, and since his fantasies are also in “forbidden” areas, he has to suppress these and the feelings that come with them. This again increases his internal tension and reduces his ability to work. This unbearable tension drove him to wander. When the he gets help in difficult situations, his ability to perform is released, his learning improves, and the child blossoms.
Józsi, 11 years old, 5th grader, father is a baker’s assistant, mother is a laundress, only child. His physical development was normal, his habituation to cleanliness was easy, the III. he studied quite well until elementary school, after that he started to decline, lost his way, missed school for 2 weeks at one time.
On New Year’s Eve, his parents left him alone in the evening, then he ran away, spent the night outside the house, when his parents found out about this, he says: ,,k . . . . “aunts” (sic!) wanted to see and listen to what they were talking about. At the same time, he secretly sells small items that he receives as gifts, and sometimes takes small amounts at home. Upon reporting the school, he is sent to foster care, and from there to a boys’ home, where he has otitis media received, operated on and sent home. Since then, the child’s character has been deteriorating, he lies, is dirty, urinates at home and at school, defecates, often twists and studies very poorly. he is constantly punished both at school and at home, his parents – who used to pamper him and call him names – are now rude to him, especially his father. They beat a lot; according to her own admission, her mother he often bursts out in his anger: “I wouldn’t mind if you died!” “I’ll kill you if you lie!” etc. The mother cries a lot for her son, who, seeing this, cries with her. According to his mother, the change in the boy’s character could have been caused by the fact that they changed apartments and the child got into bad company at school and there is a public house on the street near their new apartment, which excites the child.
The boy is small, with a neglected appearance, a very dull facial expression, withdrawn, trusting, indifferent. He appears to be sub-intelligent, answers with difficulty, softly, without color. The question, do you feel good, really surprises you? It’s even more so when I say that I don’t think he’s having a very good time, because I hear from his parents how bad things are, how much he gets out, both at home and at school. And how would it be good to help it to look different? At this, the child loses his previous indifference and begins to cry bitterly. I let him cry, and then I say that he came here to get help, there is no punishment here, this is not a school, patronage or court, the children come here so that if there is no way they can manage something on their own or with their parents, help get He will definitely have such things and we will try to help him! The child sniffs more calmly now, we talk a little more in his own slang, about football, movies, friends, he leaves very relaxed. If we thought of depravity in our previous case: Józsi’s symptoms — vagrancy, theft, lying, truancy, dullness and dirtiness If in our previous case we thought of depravity: Józsi’s symptoms — vagrancy, theft, lying, truancy, dullness and dirtiness — pointed to an even more serious disease,? which naturally I did not think could be solved with simple counseling. In spite of this, as in all cases when I start dealing with a child, I asked the parents – in front of the child – that for a while, while the child is entrusted to me, they should preferably not be punished or beaten, but wait to see what I can do with the child in another way. I have a two-fold goal with this: on the one hand, to win the child’s goodwill, and on the other hand, since the meeting takes place in front of him, he feels the treatment that is different from the previous ones and this – without taking his promise – obliges him a little, that something else is going on with him too. – let them do it. I order this little boy for treatment three times a week. When the child came 2-3 times, the change in appearance, facial expression, and behavior was shocking. While the first time he gave the impression of a disheveled, disheveled, dull, defiant, aloof, uninterested child, the second time his clothes were in order, overall he was freer, lighter, his facial features softened, as if a great weight had been lifted from someone. In short, he seemed like a well-cared-for child who has good things to do at home and is good with his surroundings.
Although I have experienced it several times, I am always very surprised when children show such a big change in appearance, manner, behavior and mood after one or two conversations. I suspected myself of being biased, but others who see the children state the same thing, and I myself have seen a similar rapid, big change in the children of other analysts at our clinic. Even more strangely, this change often remains permanent. In this case, I think, it was possible to see why it was created so quickly and the result remained permanent. The boy is happy to report that the parents kept their promise, did not hurt him, and can go to the square. Studying is done in two hours, you can play for the other two. Now, more precisely, he goes home, but never before! It’s not good to be at home, you shouldn’t pee; dad always sleeps during the day (he works at night) and immediately yells and hits, mom also always fights when she comes in the evening and he’s not home. And if he gets on the field, he is a “soccer”, “glutü”,And he – when he gets down to the square – , soccer”, , glutyü”, window shopping, and hütty!
He travels so far that by the time he gets home, it is late at night, and at home there are already fights and beatings; so now there is no! There are also many complaints about the school; the teacher, the real monster, is unjust, evil, rude, mocks and beats the children, especially the poor ones! , You too?” , Uhm, – only, – he always makes fun of me, hits me on the head, that’s why I don’t like him at school.” “What are you mocking?” , Well, he always says my name, the others laugh at him.” I didn’t manage to find out why it was a tease for him when his name was said, but it soon became clear. All I could find out about the bowel movement is that it has been there since he was in the home. There, according to his story, they had a joyless life, they were kept strictly and with a lot of beatings, their supervisor only allowed them to go to the toilet three times a day at a fixed time, and they introduced the fashion of defecating and he got used to it. He feels the urge to defecate, but he postpones it until it’s too late, just like small 1-2-year-old children.
Because of this, he has no shame, he declares that he is not stinky, they don’t know at school, and when his mother sees him, she gets angry and gets him out – there is a defiant silence. After 2 weeks – just by the way – he says: “Since I’ve been coming here, I’ve only done it twice in my pants, and I haven’t even been beaten for it.” In these two cases, we managed to expose his defiant reactions to bad luck at school: both times he did it in helpless anger. He visited me about a month ago, when one day he was drawing something, and instead of H. József, he wrote himself T. József under his drawing. , So what is this? Is that your name? Until now you said: H. József! Or am I wrong?” The child is confused, blushes, stammers: “No, my name is T. József!” Excited, he doesn’t want to give any information. “Do you have a second father?” “No, that’s my dad!” “His name?” , H. Mihály. T.’s mother’s name!” he finally groans in great agony. , What name do they call you at school?
To József T.” , That’s why you said they’re making fun of me?” ,
Yes. T. is such an ugly name!”
“Well, maybe that’s not the only reason you don’t like this name?”
He listens. He keeps repeating this bluntly, very brokenly: “My dad ….”
“Tell me, son, do you know why they call me Mama’s name?” ,
When will another child be called by the mother’s name?” ,
Uncle Teacher said. . . he told me too. . . if illegal. . .” , That’s why you said they were making fun of me?” — He nods. , When did you first hear about this? Have you known for a long time?”
“At first I knew my name was different, but I didn’t know why, I didn’t even think about it.” “Didn’t you ask?” , Yes, but mom didn’t say why?!
Once, dad was having fun in the old apartment, the housekeeper shouted that there is no coal in the cellar: The thief…, the scoundrel…, lives in a wild marriage!” I think of the “aunties” who “be- to wind” you want: , So maybe they said something about mom too? Something bad?” :
NEHI and NEHA
“Are you sure, Józsi?” ,
But, yes… I knew: something ugly, bad. Here, in our street, when we came to live here, I already knew.” “Were you with them?” , No.” s Hdívák? ” , No. I was always curious about what they were saying, I just wanted to listen, but nothing special.”
I didn’t manage to find out directly about his fantasies about prostitutes, but I could deduce from our other material that: he wanted to know the “k” — who he was spying on — his mother; his mother’s secrets — the “wild marriage”. His mother had many abortions; the “k”s have intercourse, but there is no child, they do something secretly, sinfully. At that time, it often dies
He often heard the socialists being scolded, not mentioned with any honorable adjectives, and he knew that his parents were them; from these half-suspected, half-heard things, he wanted to piece together the secrets of his parents, — his own ashamed, hidden origin, behind which he looks for sins to be ashamed of in his parents, if only as a revenge for the injuries they receive because of it. When we shed light on these, we discuss sending his parents in to see if we can help with the name issue. The parents, in great shame and apologizing, say that the child belongs to the current father, but he was born prematurely and that they conspired and grilled him a few years ago, and due to lack of time and money, they have not legalized the child until now. The father has now promised that this will be replaced as soon as possible. We share the good news with the child. After this, there is a rapid improvement, which is also noticed at school; a nice religion teacher honors him, he gets a poem for the exam, which makes him very happy, because he was looked down upon by everyone and was last in the class for 2 years.
He does well in his exams, his parents and his whole family celebrate him as a converted sheep, and he receives a gift. The summer went well, in a holiday promotion, he was considered a child with little interest and easy to handle. He almost completely stops having bowel movements, according to his mother, only one problem happens once, in September, when he has enteritis. In autumn, there are 1-2 minor school disasters, sometimes even a few pennies are missing at home. Complaints against his teacher later revealed: why did he change so suddenly in the third grade? . “The teacher was rude to mom too,” he once said.
“How?” , He said to a boy: pimp.
I told mom then, he went to school and the teacher told him. to uncle for saying nasty words to us. Then they quarreled together, mother also scolded him at home.”
It turns out that this discussion took place with mutual insults, with some political edge, and that the teacher did not look kindly on the child after that, or at least that is how the boy puts it. His mother always told him the truth during this time. The child thoroughly enjoyed the new situation, he hurried to rebel – instead of his father, against whom he was already seething – against the teacher, on whom he could transfer his jealousy, anger, and contempt for his father The child thoroughly enjoyed the new situation, he hurried to rebel – instead of his father, against whom he was already seething – against the teacher, on whom he could transfer his jealousy, anger, and contempt against his father for “coal thief”, “wild marriage”, etc. because of In addition, all this with the support of his mother! For him, the situation at school has now become as confusing as the one at home: respect and hatred, contempt side by side for the father-person. Meanwhile, the school sent warnings, bad certificates, complaints, until finally the mother also turned against the child, and they started punishing her at home. This then completely upset the child’s balance. He felt that he was being cheated again by his mother, by the adults: 1. with the father, who is not even his father, does not give his name, and is a thief, a marauder, 2. with the teacher, with whom his mother starts the fight, he sides with his mother against the teacher and his mother lets him down, sides with the enemy, believes that he is punishing him for his rant at school, when this is his demonstration next to his mother, the teacher against!
The vagrancy, thefts, sniffing after street girls begin. Then, in patronage, he gets even further away from his parents, which he feels is an even greater betrayal, and anal regression comes. In the second grade — when he is on good terms with his parents — he stifles the accusations against the parents; now, after his disappointments, he rebels, wanting to find out the suspicious secrets, and then shows his parents in his own messed up existence: “you are Pharisees, that’s what you really are, you deserve it!”
This child was under treatment for a maximum of 130 hours, but I was able to monitor him for 2 years — with breaks. The symptoms of urination have completely disappeared; minor frauds, vagrancy, lying, there was even an uncertified class in the first year, but he studied hard. In the meantime, he was assigned to another teacher; he learns German, is transferred to the civilian class, and in very serious family constellations — father’s illness, the birth of a little brother — holds his ground. According to his parents, where they knew him, the constant topic of conversation was this child’s great metamorphosis. Typical: last year he found strings of pearls in a package on the street and – after a great mental struggle – handed it over to the police. He told me this happily and considered it a great feat himself. Then they moved to a distant suburb, from where it was difficult to get to and from treatment; the child said he now so sure of himself that he only needs a little help, say once a month.
I still classify this case as one of my educational counseling cases not only because we could not clarify the childhood fixation points of anal regression, but also because it is my conviction that the I owe my success primarily to the coordination of the parents and the role I took on by actively standing by the child. By taking on this role, I gave the child a way so that, trusting in me, they could approach the society of adults (whom they were disappointed in) out of their exclusion; from his depravity and defiance to normality. I used my influence to give him back his good parents. x The common feature of these four cases is that it was possible to help the children’s problems through understanding parents or through parents’ mediation. I could cite many other cases; but I could cite many more cases where, due to parents’ opposition, successful analyzes failed or children could not be treated at all. In such cases, analyzing the parents could help! The scientific significance and therapeutic safety of the “Educational Counseling” outlined here is far behind that of in-depth, regular child analysis. The importance of this technique is primarily that it was quick help, and it is precisely from its advantages that its disabilities flow. If we take into account these disabilities and our refractory cases, we can still establish the absolute necessity and great social importance of the work in “Educational counseling”.”